Wednesday, 18 April 2012
Things I no longer like as much as I used to...
Jonathon Ross - Was it the massive balls up at the BBC? Or is it just like many men before him, he has stopped being funny. I don't know. But either way, I used to quite like him and now I cannot stick the guy.
Fireworks - as teenagers there was always one girl shrieking and shrilling on bonfire now. There was always on playing the damsel-in-distress-card; quivering behind some spotty teenage boy clad in puffer and hair parted in curtains. Yeah, they were annoying. Nearly as annoying as that pathetic thirty-something woman who was genuinely scared and physically wincing as the rockets threatened to erupt. Well guess what? Now I am woman. I can only assume it's a side effect from childbirth or something, but take me to watch fireworks and I will physically shrivel to the ground, cowering behind my hands in case they land on my face.... WTF???
Sneezing when driving - When I was 18 and it happened I was like all smiley and laughing "Oh my god, that's soooo dangerous" then carry on chewing gum and singing to The Beautiful South. Now I am "Oh My God! That is SO dangerous" Clutch steering wheel. Check mirror to see all children are in seat belts. Turn music off. Focus.
Topshop - I feel if I even dared to walk through the sliding doors I'd set this klaxon off "AN OLD PERSON HAS COME THROUGH THE DOOR. CAN SOMEONE PLEASE TURN HER AROUND AND SEND HER IN THE DIRECTION OF DOROTHY PERKINS"
Loud Music - It's just SO loud.
Oh dear, just read over this post, did I turn 32 or 52 last week?