Wednesday, 20 April 2011

Sea Fret Ruins My Life!

I can be heard muttering, shouting and hissing this phrase most summers! Sea Fret (or mist as The FH insists on calling it) is my arch nemesis!

She lurks on the horizon, swirling her way to the coast, spitting profanities, whispering my name. "I will steal your sunshine" she hisses (she’s female, of course; I've always got on better with boys). "Your day is ruined" she mouths through her vapour haze. "You will remain pasty" she cackles and these words haunt me as she hits the shore.

I am aware today the rest of the country is baking in hot sunshine - 25 degrees in London!  Do not dare complain city dwellers, do not complain about sweaty tube journeys, or the noise of the necessary fan at your desk... not while we  in the North East behold  
Bram Stoker's inspiration.

The lifeless mist sucks the colour from my lovely, coastal town and we are left with what can only be described as worse than rainy winter – a summer wearing a mask of drab!

The sunshine does everyone a favour. Everyone looks better, smiles more and feels brighter - and that's just the science bit. What about fashion? Floaty skirts and flip flops - flattering and comfortable - it's a winning combination! But it seems for those of us living near the North Sea, we must be punished: x amount of Sunny days must be followed by y amount of fret - and that's the Math!

We  had a wonderful day yesterday; morning spent at a park and owl centre, afternoon on the beach with a leisurely walk through the woods, looking for tadpoles, but think we were a bit late and maybe should have been looking for Frogs, or at least the in-between ones (frogs with tails/tadpoles with legs). But on the edge of this delightful day, a cold shiver prowled, she occasionally gnarled at my feet, forcing me to look to the horizon, where she was skulking, crowing with glee, planning her attack.

She makes it on the weather nowadays – as they acknowledge the poor fate of the East Coast: "And it looks like Glorious Sunshine again tomorrow, apart from here, here and here (points to a picture of me) where the Sea Fret will mean temperatures plummet and mask the sunshine all day".

It's worse now that I have children... not because Sunshine means a whole day out of the house, but now I am awake at 6 and get to witness the wonderful day the rest of the country is having  before the Fret has slithered in and stolen it from my grasp. Nothing good comes from waking early. Nothing!

This late morning, whilst I tip tap on here, the drab haze is swirling round the streets. My optimism makes me hopeful that the Sun will burn through; bang on cue, to top up my half-full glass, my Sister texts to say she can see blue sky. I need to inspect from every window; these terraced houses can be deceptive. But if The Fret has been defeated today, will she come back angrier tomorrow? And what will she be cackling? – “I will turn your straightened hair to frizz”.

Now I've finished the Blog, blazing sunshine beats against the window - previously my nemesis has ruined my plans, taunted my fashion choices - now she makes me look like a liar on my blog!

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