Tuesday, 5 April 2011

Apparently I pinch all his material

Dedicated to The Future Husband, not because I pinch his material, but because he gives me so much to write about.

He is actually my fiancé; hence the pseudonym, but I can't actually call him that for two reasons:
1) I find it impossible to say without sounding like a dickhead
2) The only way I can get the french spelling is by writing it in word first and copying and pasting it - too much effort!

A few snippets:

The Proposal was more of a drunken barter, which included the length of engagement and how much the ring was likely to cost, I must tell you we had been together 7 years and he had fathered my 2 children at this point, but he was still comforted by the words "long engagement" and "second-hand jewellery store".

                                                                              * * *
Not long after our first child was born - actually I can be more accurate - the day before FH's paternity leave ended, he said "I don't mind if I come home tomorrow and find you and the baby covered in baked beans and shite. But, if it does get that bad, you can ring me you know".
Brave man.
* * *
When we ended up talking about who are friends chose as their significant other...
Him: I guess it's like you and me, there's probably people who like you, who can't stand me and there's people who really like me, but don't like you.
Me: I don't think there's anyone out there who likes you, but doesn't like me.
Him: Well that's because you're a goody-goody. Me, I'm like red wine - an acquired taste.
Me: I'd say you were more like Lime Pickle actually.
* * *
"His material" is good because:
  • if I cut his sandwich in half I'm attacking his manhood
  • he freaks out when our sons try on my high heels and bras.
  • when he put petrol in his diesel car he told his work mates it was me
  • he owns more pairs of shoes than I do.
I love him because...
  • he makes me breakfast nearly every morning
  • we laugh... a lot
  • my tantrums never work with him
  • he has better taste in music than me
One final note: he is the only man I have ever loved and I am quite proud of that!

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