Monday, 23 May 2011

Is there no mystery left?

 Apparently the new trend, amongst teenage girls, is to take pictures of yourself, completely naked, and send it to every teenage boy in your phonebook. I know this to be fact, as my old colleagues have to telephone their parents to tell them what their precious, beloved, 14/15 year old daughters have been doing. Also, to add to this depressing news, I was told a story of a teacher having to ring a set of parents to come and collect this birthday present a 15 year old girl had been given at school. Wait for it, the best is yet to come; in a recent poll at a local school teenage girls declared unanimously they would most like to be... Jordan! Depressed? Me too.

But it's not just school girls, as these trends rarely start at school, they are filtered down from their role models. Apparently, and my sources are pretty concrete, this is what young, professional, twenty something women do: send DIY soft porn pictures and videos to their boyfriends. And what do the boyfriends do? Show their mates. Show the rugby team! Or, if you're really lucky, they'll upload it to the internet: "I'm gonna make you a star baby."

So the girlfriend (the one who has a fragment of self-respect left) dumps him and weeps to her girly mates, "I can't believe he did this to me"  and the girly mates say, "I know men are such twats."

No! Men are men. There's good ones and there's bad ones, but most of them are pretty indiscreet (who do you think my sources are?). You, my dear, are the twat - what did you think was going to happen? And seriously, why would you do that anyway? Here it is on a plate, babe, you don't even have to buy me dinner.

At university a flatmate and I discussed the ladette culture that was swarming its way to popularity in the late nineties. He said he found it such a turn-off. "Yes, women should enjoy a drink, enjoy sex, curse if they wish, but the way they have become crass and obvious is the polar opposite of sexy." He talked about growing up on a Glasgow council estate where women were all about the mystery and men were made to work really hard to get a glimpse of a bra.  He said, and I will never forget this, how the women in the public eye left him reeling with curiosity.

There are a few choice examples in the public eye, which are devoid of mystery and intrigue, that parade their sexuality like it is an achievement and they make a lot of money doing it. This is their prerogative, but please, don’t let the next generation of young women celebrate them. Please let us celebrate Icons who embrace the mystery and intrigue like the starlets of yesteryear.

I have wanted to write this blog for a while, but have struggled with finding these Icons - as everyone has their faults and most of us a past that someone will disparage. Therefore, I thought I would suggest some women in the public eye, that I think, technology allowing, would not have sent soft porn pictures of themselves to their classmates

 Eva Green

I know - a bond girl! A bit of a cliché...
Jameela Jamil

I like her story, her past, her honesty.

Kristen Scott Thomas

I don't like to agree with Jeremy Clarkson on many things, especially politics, but the fact he uses Kristen Scott Thomas as a measure of good taste is his only redeeming feature.

Helena Christensen

The FH, tells me this beautiful woman is renowned for being as thick as brick. This I found very disappointing, "but she's so beautiful and she's a photographer now." He shrugged his shoulders. Clearly he has insider knowledge from when he mixed with supermodels, before he was mine.

Carey Mulligan

A young British actress aka 'The girl who hates the red carpet'. Well, the camera loves you Miss Mulliagan.

Who are your Modern Female Icons? Suggestions please.


  1. Difficult always to find women who are their own person. My personal favourite women - Jo Brand - Germaine Greer -Adele - Lauren Laverne - Libby Purves - not particularly icons for young girls -but we all need heroes.

  2. Celebrate feminine mystique...Audrey Hepburn, Helen Mirren, Florence and the Machine, Stella McCartney...

  3. Juliette Binoche, Isabella Rossellini and 100% agree with Kristen Scott Thomas. And, I do love Chrsitina Hendricks for her old-fashioned womanliness (and porcelain skin).

  4. Wonderful choices Miss Underscore. Feeling inspired and uplifted.